Reading Synergies

Can regular reading, a powerful yet dying art, help in improving our lives by increased neuronal functionality?

Reading Synergies

 

Reading Time: 10 minutes

It was indeed a long gap, but I’m finally gathering the courage, maturity, aptitude, intelligence and manners to getting it filled, and embarking once again, upon reason and insight to lead life. I don’t know what took me so long to fill the gap, perhaps, the lure of shinny city lights, dollops of romance for the ephemeral, intimate affairs with ignorance, or a super tasty concoction of everything I must consider lucrative and immediately beneficial. I used to enjoy it for the longest time while growing up, must have spent so many hours with it, learnt so many valuable lessons while being with it, admiring and analyzing it, all alone, in solitude, sometimes lost, but mostly finding myself through the written words of many, who took the noble task of sharing their ideas with the world, in the simplest form – non-verbal, imaginative, enlightening, subtle, exposed to interpretations – reading and learning from books.

 

 

Information is undeniably real, it has relevant properties and functions, which influences our patterns of living, and only now, after everything is going digital, we are realizing its potential and possibilities. In the analog world, it wasn’t that hard to visualize its efficacy, but not many were able to, and I think, I fell prey to it. During my growing up years, there was no immediate access to television, but there was immediate access to playing board games and sports, occasionally climbing small trees to pluck mangoes and gooseberry, reading books, getting wet in monsoon rains etc., which seem to have become extinct tasks, even with the immediate next generation. I ain’t sad or critical about it, but the charm which those activities had, is not only nostalgic, but it had certain physical and mentally uplifting characteristics which is not easy to replicate in the current ways of digitalized living. The digital world brings a whole new range of qualities which are sharper, faster, random and can be argued, makes ones mental abilities agile while the physical agility can be purchased by yearly memberships at the gym or a club. Anyway, the point of all these blabber is not to compare one era against another, and feel nostalgic about the previous one, while lamenting about the present one, and like our grandparents, have a long face about how things have gone wrong and how in our times, things were different and better. There’s a whole lot of hogwash to those kind of dramatizations, which I ain’t party too. My point is quiet and quite simple, I recently reacquired my old habit of regular reading, which I’m thrilled about, and simply wanted to jot a few things down and share it, now that I’ve a blog to fill, and a reason to infiltrate everyone’s inbox and WhatsApp groups with a gentle rigor. I find the whole process quite exciting and frankly an avenue to be in touch with you, maybe not literally but literately, which otherwise, is getting very difficult, as friends and families seem to be getting unusually busy with exhaustive activities, which many of them are unable to explain.

Munger

I grew up next to a library, a small one, or a “kutti” one, as my Tamil friends would say. It actually was a small room in a flat, which was converted into a library, just two blocks away from my television-free home. My brother and I were members, and I’m simply indebted to my brother amongst many other things, to introduce me to unsullied laughter, via the delightful ploys of Captain Haddock, twins Thomson & Thompson, dog Snowy, professor Calculus, butler Nester, singer Bianca Castafiore and of course, the young and dynamic detective Tintin, amongst the myriad of books at the library. Tintin, was so engaging and comical, it would be hard and insulting to Hergé, not to laugh uproariously, while the rest of the tribe around us were seriously helter-skelter making a living. In some ways, it was actually inappropriate that we were laughing while reading comics, and being inconsiderate to the immediate plights of others nearby us. Of course, we didn’t mean to be impolite or inconsiderate, it was just that we were learning joy and togetherness from a comic book, which although sounds like a silly idea, has proven to be an absolutely benevolent gift of incomparable magnitude in my life, and I owe it to Hergé and everyone else who I can give credit to, including the beautiful people who had the brilliant idea of an active library, in a dense residential neighborhood, where there were only few takers, whose interests were aligned towards books. While most people in the neighborhood were actively renting their extra rooms to paying guests,  this particular family, must have changed quite a few lives, surely mine, by renting books instead. I’m eternally grateful to them, and on my next visit to my childhood neighborhood, have intentions of stopping by and seeking out the truth behind such dynamic brilliance.

 

 

So, very silently and without fuss, reading became a source of entertainment, staying out of trouble, knowing how to sit alone at one place and be fine with it, enjoying some time with myself etc. and before I could tell, I had started reading novels of various sizes from different authors. The genres kept on changing over the years, but the value derived from the books never faltered or failed me. Reading was a way to bring myself back to me, borrow valuable relevance from others, have a chat with the author, learn and apply a few hints from their lives, adapt to some ideas they were sharing into my life, and I realized it all started making a lot of sense and was actually a powerful and dynamic way to create situations, guide my life, anticipate hurdles, express gratitude and thus come much closer to life. It didn’t feel freaky or unusual to do this, to the contrary, any other way of approaching life, started feeling very long, aloof and many a times helpless, as it would mean I had to reinvent the wheel all alone, not sure of the outcomes, when I could very easily get help from the carefully chosen books I had in the pipeline. It turned out to be a brilliant symbiosis between various authors and myself, and I started making choices with refined clarity and deeper insights as time passed, I supposedly grew, and life started unfolding and offering glamorous opportunities.

 

 

America was instantly fascinating, barring the daunting interview with the immigration officer at JFK, to be traveling under a bridge in my brother’s Mitsubishi Mirage, while a huge British Airways Boeing 747, was being taxied and pulled right above us, on the bridge. The tall buildings of Manhattan, the glamor, pace, sales, shopping, corporate opportunities, easy loan accessibility, power to immediately purchase etc. must’ve taken me on a different trip, and although reading was on my mind, it didn’t hold the position I’d given it earlier in life, and I started moving away from it for a long time. Of course, I never gave up the habit, it just wasn’t regular, nor was it used effectively, as I had managed to in the previous dramas of my life, before reaching the American shores. Life started unfolding various crossroads, and I started doing many gigs in corporate America, and enjoying the plethora of activities a fast-paced and accumulating culture with access to excess and instant gratification provides. In hindsight, I could tell, I wasn’t all that sharp amongst the unfolding of various dramas, as I could have been, if I had kept up with regular reading, in the land of opportunities. Life unfolded even more, traveling, partying, marrying, backpacking, yoga, meditation and many more things happened, until one day, after some 12 years of irregular reading, I came across the website Farnam Street Blog (http://fs.blog) where the blogger (Shane Parrish) advocated a habit of reading regularly, by committing to some pages of daily reading, to get into a habit. This opened up a completely new outlook to life, I immediately realized the opportunity cost of having loosened up on one of the most lucrative and creative habit I had developed in the formative and adolescent years, and with immediate intent, along with the daily yoga, I committed to reading 25 pages daily, and slowly realigned my life back, with authors who shared their ideas, from where it was easy to pick up methodologies, to reorient and align my own life, in a systematic and channelized manner.

 

 

I don’t consider myself an intellect, nor am I a voracious reader, because, as I explained earlier, I read to bring some guidance and direction to my own life. The act of reading is not so as to read a lot, know a lot or even discuss a lot. I actually am quite quiet and given a chance, would remain quiet and consider silence and observing the breath as a fun activity, which brings joy and connectivity, not the wifi kind, but human kind. In some ways, I could be easily labeled as an introvert, but over the years, I’ve realized the need to be an extrovert too, as life situations demand, and hence have picked up valuable hints from few books and oriented myself to balance between the two “verts” and could now be considered an “ambivert”, with a preference towards introversion, jumping on to extroversion upon provocation, because that’s the requirement of a gregarious society. Reading fine books, recommended by successful people is what I go after. I trust in the wisdom of Seneca and Aurelius and have their books in the pipeline. I am charmed by the wisdom of Charlie Munger, Warren Buffett, Richard Dawkins, Yuval Harari, Sadhguru, Osho amongst others, and I either read their books or the books they recommend. I don’t fret over how much I read, I instead work upon slowly extracting value from their insights, develop a strategy to keep it meaningful and available for use in my awareness, work upon my levels of alertness through daily yoga, and as and when situation calls for, I experiment and apply those readymade meaningful insights, borrowed from various authors, to provide guidance and direction to my own life and perhaps guide a few other lives. It all looks very cumbersome and convoluted, but once the knack is established, on the basis of a genuine intent to live wisely, it does feel like, this is one of the cleverest way to bring in wisdom and insight into one’s life, and it is really not difficult nor expensive. IMHO, any other way would be much more difficult and certainly more expensive.

Quote Series Chalkboard

It is my opinion that regular reading, on various topics, from trusted sources, enhances our neurological circuitry, challenges it in perceiving reality in a better manner, significantly improves the interconnectivity through a neuronal massage, maintains a healthy and robust brain function and in general, leads to making much wiser life-centric choices and better decision-making capabilities. It exposes us to the work of stalwarts from the past, who had the courage and insight to record their stories in the form of information in books, and to keep it alive for the future generations to make use of. It is in our interest to seek them out, use their time tested wisdom and enhance the quality of our own living in the present. It is my humble observation that “information is real”, it never dies, it floats and just like the genes, keeps propagating through various mediums from one generation to another, which I believe in the modern terminology maybe labeled as “memes”. It is in the interest of the modern man to pick up the hints, mistakes, observations, lessons which the people in the past have recorded, and shared with us, for us to make better decisions and not repeat the mistakes, nor spend energy on reinventing the wheel. It is a simple and wise way to conduct life and I hope, you, the reader agrees with it. I am benefitting hugely with such simple habits and have all intention to keep up with my 25 pages of daily reading to enhance my perception, learn from others, and guide my present life. If you feel alike, do drop me a note and we can correspond, for others, I’m leaving a set of links below, for further exploration on this topic.

Thanks for reading!

 

USEFUL LINKS:

Insightful Blogs:
https://www.fs.blog/
https://www.safalniveshak.com/

How to find time to read:
https://www.fs.blog/2013/09/finding-time-to-read/

Book Recommendations by Charlie Munger:
https://www.fs.blog/2014/06/charlie-munger-recommended-books/

Bearded Guides

Some bearded guides come unannounced, to knock you down, and one should consider it their fortune!

Bearded Guides

Took me 33 years of toil and set the sail

Took him 90 minutes to foil and take the reign

Took him for a guide hoping to sail shores

Only to begin a journey towards a vague core

His eyes revealed a sort of compassion

Only to realize it was silent dispassion

First bearded guide rescued me from plights

Only to drop me in the lap of unknown flights

Second bearded guide seemed on a mission

Only to realize he was out to kill false vision

Everything happened fast and felt like a dream

With only me left to hear my scream

I felt worried could I be missing out on life

Only to realize I was hooked on to strife

Its futile to resist and dream of other place

When I could be at ease and miss the rat race

They showered their blessings and showed the way

Without giving a chance to bow down and pray

I know bearded guides don’t care for any praise

Still sharing this poem and song in honor of their abundant grace

🎼Song Credit🎼
Nasrat Fateh Ali Khan & Tanishk Bagchi

Intangible Affairs

Some affairs are meant to be intangible for it to be valuable, and can’t be qualified or romanticized.

Reading Time: 8 minutes

We accidentally moved to a location, several years ago, which is surrounded by beautiful hills. The hills are rolling, energetically powerful  with many lore about it, and it wouldn’t be totally inappropriate to say, we don’t have a backyard, we simply have a back-hill. Every morning after I wake up, I usually remember to see the sun rise on the east, take a turn, fill some drinking water in the generous Ikea cup, and look out to the hills on the west, to see how magnificent they stand, tree-covered, canopied by randomly strolling clouds, and simply staring back with a smirk. They just seem to be there, although I know for a fact, they’re very organic and growing. Its a pleasure to have that few minutes of silent conversation with them every morning, while I consume the water, getting ready for the daily chores. It is also reassuring that they’ll be there the next day, and day after too, to continue this quiet romance, without much fuss on why I’m late, or whether I bought any gifts, or if I’m not paying sufficient attention to them, or I’m not romantic enough etc.

The point I’m trying to make is, the hills aren’t inanimate as normally understood, they’re alive, communicating, and are available to connect anytime, don’t expect much, and provide a daily assurance of their presence, which is quite remarkable and soothing.
When we moved here some eight years ago, we also planted saplings of various flower and fruit bearing plants, including Avocado, banana, pomegranate, sapota, guava, bougainvillea, hibiscus and some local varieties, which are all growing nicely now, providing shade, greenery, clean air and beauty to the area. It has been a remarkable journey of observing them closely, and I can claim that I have established a relation with them, where we enjoy each other’s presence, without having a need to talk about our individual problems. Strangely, I don’t tend to them often, except when I intuitively hear their call of being thirsty. It is very rare that I’ve let them stay dry without being watered for a long time, as somewhere deep within my psyche, they express their thirst, after adequate waiting, and I heed to that soft and gentle call with an immediate response. When they were little, I used to water them using a watering can, but now, as they all stand taller, firmly rooted, we’ve moved on to water them with a hose. I get this distinct feeling that they love this act of being offered water, partly because they’re thirsty, but partly also because they’re quite aware, they cannot walk far, and express their gratitude with that peaceful nod of approval when I pass them by. I also don’t know if you, the reader, has ever spent substantial time in a tropical country, but the heat is usually strong and I personally prefer not drying myself completely after a shower. It leaves me with some residual moisture over the body, which provides a relaxed and cooling effect, which is much appreciated! I feel when the plants are mulched properly with some organic material, like dry leaves, they similarly feel a relaxed and cooling effect, as the moisture gets retained under the layer of mulch. I’ve often felt this chemistry between the plants and me, and as hard as it is to describe, it is very vivid, and I cannot even claim that I’m any strong tender or lover of plants, except when it comes to harvesting the fruits and herbs from them.
Over the years, because of the denser and safer habitat, we get occasional crawlers like a rat snake, scorpion, lizards and many variety of birds in the area, who sing their tunes in the mornings, and the feathered peacocks don’t seem to mind strolling around the area, unbothered by our presence. Little do they know, it is our pleasure and pride that they’ve chosen to visit us, and feel safe living amongst us. Admittedly, they eat up all the arugula and basil leaves before we can harvest, and there is this unwritten tug of war on who can make it first to harvest the herbs. The cottages in the area, are also nestled amongst one of the finest trees, from the palm family, the coconut tree. Its an amazing design, where pretty much every part of the tree can be used for something, either edible or decoration or some other utility. The tender coconut water is just out of the world, although, we still haven’t managed to figure out how to harvest the coconuts without having to climb the tree, and usually drink it during our evening walks from the local vendor.

I have learnt many things from this organic and rather intimate affair with the hills, plants and birds over time. The significant lesson I’ve learnt is, that we really need not care about each other as much, to be in an intimate relationship. Perhaps, I should elaborate! I really do care that the hills, plants and birds sustain and live well, and also realize that my clandestine affair with them can only continue if they exist. So, in that manner, I do care for them. But I am prudent enough to also realize that they sustain based on some grander interconnected universal laws and movements, which I am not aware of, and I’m beginning to get a very good feeling that even I’m sustaining based on some grander laws which are unclear to me, which has an enormous influence upon me, beyond the monstrous effort I put to sustain on my own, based on the limited understanding of existence.

My connection with all these species is platonic, silent, intimate and its quality cannot be measured, and as such is intangible, cannot be qualified or romanticized. But, based upon my personal experience, I can easily say that they feel equally touched by my presence, as I am by their’s.
Its a mutual affair, where we do not bother each other with mundane matters of individual survival, and instead connect with each other, without any intent of seeking pleasure or profit from each other. In that sense, it can either be considered as a pure or a lame relationship, depending on how we choose to look at it.

The point to all these blabbering is that if we wish, we can create an organic relationship with many things around us and it is not necessary to be depending on fellow human species only. Not that, the fellow humans are inorganic or cannot be friendly, its just that there is no need to restrict ourselves to one single species.

Also, the quality of relationship with other species, once established, is remarkably quiet, because the noisy verbal chatter and pretense, is suddenly removed from the equation, which in general is a big barrier when it comes to connecting with fellow human species.
One of the biggest problems that human relations have, is we feel dissatisfied with each other after some time, and we never wonder what the root cause of such feelings could be. We feel disconnected and incomplete in many ways, and with that baggage, we embark upon wanting to connect with fellow humans, without really realizing that no one can fulfill or complete us by their physical presence. It seems like a daunting and unrealistic idea, which cannot find fruition, simply because we are trying to fulfill our physical or mental needs of feeling incomplete, by making use of other fellow humans who themselves have similar needs, and thus everything leads to a comical stagnation or pretentious status quo.

I find a distinct sense of involvement, togetherness and intimacy in silence, beholding, walking and really do not care much about the feelings of incompleteness or lack of fulfillment which lingers in my psychological scape.

I am in no ways suggesting that humans should not have physical or mental needs, because I don’t think that is possible. Although, my experiments with other species do reveal to me that giving unrealistic attention and importance to cultivated feelings of incompleteness, is perhaps the primary reason we have violent streaks in human affairs. As long as our affairs are rooted in trying to feel complete by using others, there is no scope but to remain subtly violent. But if we recognize this fact, and understand that we can intimately connect at other subtler levels, not only with fellow human species, but pretty much everything around us, there is a sudden sense of freedom, and all our petty attempts of finding fulfillment seems insignificant, futile and silly. I also think, these experiments and realizations cannot be conceptualized and everyone has to figure out the truth behind it on their own. To that effect, I would not suggest anyone to accidentally move to a location surrounded by rolling hills, banana trees or flock of peacocks, but instead, wherever they’re, to simply observe their needs, without wanting to alter them, the struggles and compulsive behavior which it brings in wanting to satisfy those needs, and simultaneously plant some flowering plants in a pot, look up to the sky more often, feel the occasional breeze and warmth of the sun more often, go for walks in nature during the weekends or evenings, enjoy some home cooked meals prepared together etc. and I also feel it is really not necessary to domesticate a dog and bring them home either, unless of course, its a Labrador.

I think simply being aware of our compulsive needs, clubbed with being conscious of our movements amongst all species, without altering anything, can bring us towards relations, which need not be fulfilling, but can be very intimate.
Perhaps, this could be the missing link towards having a peaceful individual and a harmonious world, where we’re not ceaselessly working towards the build up for the next war!

Udagamandalam

An impromptu trip to the nearby beautiful Nilgiri hills of Ooty.

 

Reading Time: 5 minutes

It is 15°C and feels really nice. We are about 7000 feet above sea level, and it took us 100 kms to get here in about 4 hours. The roads were windy, making us giddy, also because we had chosen to start early, at around 4:30 AM, to beat the Sunday traffic, see the magnificence of the sun rise, and perhaps catch some mountain mist and bisons during the ascend. It was indeed nice upon arrival, the pleasant breeze, the radiance of the tea plantations over the rolling hills, bunch of houses stacked next to each other in cozy patterns of amoebic forms, and the unusually gentle intensity of the sun at that height, making it a memorable ensemble in this present moment, to experience the elemental nature of existence. It does get crowded at this “hill station”, a word perhaps borrowed from the British during their forced occupation, but nonetheless, the cooler climate makes it all worthwhile, considering the plains where we live has already started blazing at 36°C, and its only early April, the sun having just crossed the equator in its rhythmic ascend towards the Tropic of Cancer. The Northern hemisphere is going to receive a lot of sun in the next three months, and the temperatures have been soaring, particularly over the past decade, and it probably will reach the early 40’s°C by late May, where we stay. The one day impromptu trip to the hill station turned out to be a benediction worth noting for a long time to come. Just escaping to a 20°C drop in temperature, can put perspectives in order, and today was one of those significant days.

Any impromptu trip, which does not involve a planned assortment of “masala chai”, sandwiches lapped with pesto and tomatoes, and alternated with peanut butter, is probably going to face many challenges in its successful outcome, and neither of us four were known for such dorky mistakes. It meant getting up really early, to get things rolling, and it was not like we were trying to get up early to do yoga, in the auspicious “brahmamurath” (3:45 AM till sunrise, when the human system is in sync with the solar system), it was an impromptu day off, and it seemed quite easy to get up, shower, get the sandwiches rolling, bottle filled with filtered drinking water, thermos filled with masala chai, get the dishes cleaned, relevant oil lamps lit, decent clothes ironed, watermelon packed, bed cover spread appropriately, and get out of the cottage, at the appointed hour. It seemed ridiculous to be hitting the snooze button of the alarm, considering we woke up three minutes prior to the usually annoying buzzing of the alarm clock.

Impromptu holidays have a charm on the human mechanism, which can even awaken the nocturnal amongst us, to be pleasantly awake at the unearthliest hours of the morning.

We drove through the town, ensuring the pizzeria we wanted to have lunch at, still existed, and the owners and staff had the equal pleasure of our company, as we would have of their pizza and services, only after ensuring that the sandwiches and masala chai were savored affectionately, much before reaching the center of the town. It was only 9 AM and the town seemed buzzing with tourists from all over the country, attempting to escape the heat, and we were left feeling silly, that we weren’t the only clever folks who used such escape strategies. But, we had the territorial advantage of being from a nearby region, and knew the places which would be less crowded for our next move – a relaxed picnic in a meadow like setup, nearby the eucalyptus trees. We intended to relax, and we were not stressed about it by any means. It took another half an hour of driving up and down the windy streets, a few stops to take several selfies with the lavender-colored flowering trees along the rolling hills, and finally found a secluded spot, undisturbed by fellow brethren, surrounded by tall eucalyptus trees and pretty clean patch of decently and naturally mowed grass – our private meadow. It was the nearest resemblance to a meadow and we were not going to pass it by. We quickly cleared the trunk, picked up the nonalcoholic liquids, remaining sandwiches before the afternoon lunch, spread the cover, and before we could count ‘em ten sheep, I in particular was told to have disappeared in a dreamy state, with my favorite afternoon siesta, which lately I’ve been referring to as a “power nap” – some strange lingo I must have picked up, perhaps, during my corporate “hamstering” days.

It turned out to be an absolutely pleasant siesta, followed by significantly insignificant blabbers, random doses of laughter and giggles, sharing of stories, taking some selfies and some selfless photos, and simply being with friends for no particular reason, at this lovely  spot, on a rolling hill, somewhere in the western ghats of southern India.

It was not like we spent a lot of time together, or drove the distance only to gobble some pizza, with any serious planning for spending a day out away from routine work and blistering heat. It was a simple and impromptu holiday, mostly unplanned and giggly, going with the flow, keeping it light and fun, amongst friends, with some deliberately greasy and delicious choices of platter. We also managed to reach the pizzeria on time, ordered the sumptuous pizza, along with some pasta, gobbled them down along with continual laughs, and the pleasure to be amongst friends on a holiday, away from the 36°C plains weather, and submerging ourselves to the rosy 15°C weather for one day. Cheers to more impromptu holidays, time well spent with friends, relaxed and leisure moments in nature, and remembering that the softer and subtler moments in life, provides an immediate opportunity to experience the profoundness of life, which in itself is a fleeting and ending experience! 🙂

Friendships

The aggregate bounty of involving friendships and uninvolving acquaintances.

Friends 2

#Friendships #Sowing #Involvement #OldSchool #Vulnerable

Reading Time: 4 minutes

I’ve always been fond of growing amongst friends, and be unbothered with what we do together. We may end up doing something – play board games when bored, sing or listen to songs, read comic books, play outdoor games, chat, go for walks, watch TV etc. – or simply do nothing.

The choices of “doing” something together is endless, but simply “being” together is priceless.

There is a purposeless transaction which manifests, when friends come together regularly, want to be with each other aimlessly, and create a sort of merging, where words are meaningless, actions futile, and an existential alignment occurs where the hidden divinity of being human finds expression, unbeknownst to its recipients.

 

 

Usually, I ain’t shy of expressing my fears, confusions and vulnerability to selective friends, not because I trust them, or they are my best friends, or I am loyal to them etc., but just because, I feel they’re my friend and I want to share. It never bugs me that they can’t solve my problems, or guide me in any particular direction. I am usually overjoyed and overwhelmed that they are simply available to listen and pay attention. To me, attention is intrinsically more valuable, than any sordid ideas we exchange, in the name of helping.

I never really care for answers from my friends, instead, feel very comfortable that we can reach out unplanned, make ourselves available, and be willing to listen – that’s enough involvement!

 

 

Friends 0

Lately, friendships seem to have taken a strange turn, “we feel connected with each other, only to the extent we need each other“. Its a rigged affair, where we think our affairs should be towards gaining something, for ourselves, from others, else it is useless partaking it. Well, times are changing fast, and over the years, I’ve met many, who come near, but are unable to come close.

Something is different, people are frightened and burnt, unreasonably busy and stressed, and expressing vulnerability is considered an embarrassing sign of weakness. Hardly anyone listens, most want to talk, and everyone takes selfies. Distances seem shortening, friendships seem broadening, and social media allows friends to be made in frenzy. We seem to only talk about our problems with work, people, spouses, children, bosses, employees, employers, staff, shopping etc., and turn our involved friendships into uninvolved acquaintances.

We only consider coming together, if there is something to do, somewhere to go, or something to buy. Beholding, genuinely asking “how are you?”, engaging in silence without interference of words or action, is considered useless and waste of time, while only hanging out, catching up and binging is considered exciting and useful.

 

🍂

 

I must be old school, who values vulnerability over confidence, silence over boisterous, listening over talking, feeling over discussing, beholding over binging, and although considered old fashioned and naive, I don’t mind, as the values I seek in friendships, allow me to offer myself, connect purposelessly, involve intelligently, indulge consciously, speak diligently, advice hesitatingly, avoid frivolousness, encourage intimacy and thus experience friendships based on real lessons from life versus pseudo ideologies.

Arguably, I feel friendships need sowing, involvement and tender caring which goes beyond the “addictive need” to be hanging out, catching up, doing things or binging somewhere. It is an inclusion of energies over ideas, effervescence over effort and patience over preponderance.

 

🍂

 

Although times have changed, and we live in an era of assumed advancements, relentless activities, impatient communications, narcissist attitudes, prejudiced opinions, it doesn’t seem wise to destroy certain core values so sporadically and drastically. Nature offers few free tips and immediate methods to retrace ourselves when lost, and involved friendships is one of the easiest method to bring back our sanity and balance.

I like to think that, involved friendships, stemming from vulnerability and not usefulness, assists in dealing with the animal within, brings forth our humanity, provides emotional stability, protects from ignorance, keeps us grounded to identify and indulge with real opportunities of growth, in a world of rampantly diminishing intimate values, where there is an inherent confusion between well being and ill being.

 

 

Friends 1

I don’t hesitate or feel ashamed of being vulnerable, seek vulnerability, exhibit involvement, avoid the uninvolved, distance from the toxic and thus invariably have fewer friends, even on Facebook, no Twitter account, and seldom responded WhatsApp messages, yet I remain reasonably confident that the next time we pick that phone impromptu, to seek for advice, rant or pleasantries, it will be enthusiastically answered, and the voice on the other end will be tender, attentive and knowing the purpose of calling, without having to text first or subjecting to an uninvolved or hurried response much later. And, of course, it would be blasphemous to write anything about actually meeting in person, impromptu 🙂